The word went out in ebbs and tides, in oceans, bays and water slides; a contest seeing who could be The Deadest Fish In All The Sea! Murky rumors did abound; the deadest fish would soon be crowned! Each dead fish thought secretly, "There is no fish as dead as me!" Dead fish left their muddy banks, their foamy floats and septic tanks. They rode the waves as day grew dim (for they were dead and couldn't swim). 'Neath the moon the tide did sweep the dead fish to the ocean's deep. Odorous and rotted well, the salty waters hid their smell. None the deader for the trip they gathered near a sunken ship. Lobsters hailed a welcome call to dead contestants, one and all! Fish deceased for months and weeks, battered by the seagulls' beaks. Popping eyes and dropping scales, Missing heads and missing tails. Fish from Spain and Singapore graciously expelling gore. Fish from San Francisco Bay dragging seaweed all the way. Mackerel sporting swallowed hooks. Minnows fried by Chinese cooks. Seven crispy cod croquettes. Twenty tuna in a net. Cans releasing dead sardines. Angler fish with bursted spleens. Whitefish turned a shade of blue. Catfish whose nine lives were through. Halibut and rainbow trout with their bellies bloating out. Flattened guppies hid beneath piles of dead piranha teeth. Sunfish spotted with disease. Goldfish flushed down lavatr’ies. Some in states of deep decay, others dead just yesterday... Soon the last had straggled in, ripe and eager to begin. While they settled all about lobsters handed numbers out. Then a hush subdued the crowd all along the starboard shroud, broken by a mighty SLAM... Hail the judge! A giant clam! Competition mounted thick. Dead fish topped each other's tricks. Showing off their dead fish skills: sinking, floating, lying still. Mobs of urchins got in tiffs betting on their favorite stiffs. Who would claim it? Who would be The Deadest Fish in All the Sea? Like a lofty magistrate the clam observed in silent state. Spitting out a rusty can, he sighed a sigh and then began... "I'm to choose the honoree, The Deadest Fish in All Sea. Though I've judged the oceans' best watching this, I must protest!" Eyes were on him, hard and long. Scandal! Outrage! Something's wrong! Then the ancient clam commenced; "Has the whole world lost it's sense?!" "Many moons and stars ago currents of the sea would flow brilliant blue the world across. Through the waves the fish would toss. Fish alive! Robust and strong! Full of life and sport and song. Sea to sea and deep to deep, multitudes of fish would leap! By the plankton on my shell, I recall their revels well. Fish would travel to compete here before my judge's seat. I would crown the brightest tail, highest jump and smoothest sail. Lively contests every day far ago and long away. BUT... Now we're here, oh friends of mine, soaking in the filthy brine. Not in all my hundred years has a contest wrung such tears." "Tell us why we all are dead," said a barracuda head. "Aah," the clam moaned wistfully, "Look around, it's plain to see. This I tell you with a frown; PEOPLE turned the waters brown! Spilling sewage in the tide, where were all the fish to hide? Factories ruined every creek letting deadly poisons leak. No one cared or understood. Fish could soon be gone for good! If they halted, surely then fish would prosper once again. Who will tell them? Do they know what we've suffered here below?" Urchins bubbled their applause. Lobsters leapt and clapped their claws. The crusty crown was laid to rest. Down with Deadest Fish Contests! THEN... One by one and two by two the dead fish knew just what to do. Ten by ten and thousands more they washed themselves upon the shore. To the corners of the earth; Baffin Island, Nome and Perth, Boston Harbor, Shanghai Beach, anywhere the tide could reach. There they rested on the sand where the water met the land, as a message lying there to the people everywhere. There they lie this very morn and as newer fish are born, Share their message with a friend... Make the waters clean again. ~ © 1998 by Mare Freed This story was first published in Story Book II, Cherubic Press. NOTE: I am currently seeking an illustrator for collaboration on a second print edition of this children's picture book, with hopes of any improvement at all over the miserably lame illustrations in the first edition (not shown here, for good reason). If you're an illustrator and would be interested in talking about a possible collaboration, feel free to contact me.